Thrill seeking.

You might just wonder why would he be writing in english, but there is no real answer for it. He lays his hands on the laptop and tries to make magic out of it, even though he realizes there's no way that he can make such thing as magic anymore... Not a magic trick, or written ''magical'' sentences: He's lost the ability to thrill or be thrilled , but he might aswell still try.
Talk about Thrill seeking, there's many things people do nowadays in order to find that excitement we just won't get out of every day living anymore. Adrenaline, people call it. "You just won't get it anywhere else", is what they say. He thinks differently. Thrilling, he considers, is much simpler than jumping off a plane, or having sex in random illegal places. Oh no... "You can get much more thrilled than that" is what he thinks... "Try falling in love".
Why would you run off a cliff, when you can get equally hurt trying to run into or out of love? -"Have people gone mad?"- Seriously thinks for himself, but evenly for everybody else who decides to read his words; especially that special someone. - "Can't they do something better than trying to find happiness where it doesn't exist?"
Maybe love isn't exactly what we call an extreme sport, but it can become quite dangerous and harmful, but who cares... we do it anyways. Don't we?
Not that he regrets being thrilled in such a special way, but it's just he is still unable to figure out many whys. Like for example: Why is it that he still get's some sort of special goosebump whenever he looks at a sunflower? Or listensI to any good song on the radio, and thinks about her? But most of all: Why is it that he still thinks about her every single night and day, and is able to write about it, being everything over and dealt with?
Over night he likes to think, and that is why he doesn't sleep well anymore. At daytime, he likes a lonely time, and that's why he's sometimes rude with anybody surrounding him. He likes to think and to be alone for a while, just to think about how thrilling it is to fall in love, and how dangerous and harmful, yet beautiful it is to live everyday dying for this someone.
Not that he has someone anymore, but he used to not long ago, even though it has seemed like for ever to him. It was beautiful, and probably one of the best things that ever happened to him.
But anyway, why would anyone like you understand such a thing that only his mind, complex ( for many things), yet simple(for many others) comprehends once every other while?

In the end, it all comes down to his feelings, and not really wanting to talk about anything anymore.

He just wants to write whatever he thinks he feels, because he can't even understand himself any longer.